As an artist, i often find myself wanting to make my home on the edge of the world... The cutting edge that is. However, I've found that the so called cutting edge actually seems to be just as shallow and uninspiring as every popular art form in the past. What is it that so many new artists want? Why is it that there are so many unfulfilled art mediums? How come the masses are so rarely moved? Are we not trying or are we trying too hard? Maybe neither... maybe both. When I watched this video of one of my favorite directors speaking about artistic resposibility I realized something. Maybe artists have forgotten what art is, or maybe what it represents. Maybe we've spent so much time trying to "wow", trying to show the world what we as individuals can do better than everyone else, how clever we are, how vast our genius is, that we've caused ourselves to forget that art is simply another... if not the most important form of communication. Could all of our technological advances and new gimmicks have caused us to lose sight of each other? Sometimes  I forget that in all forms of art, there is... or should be a center of truth that you're trying to communicate to your audience, neighbors, friends, and family. And maybe we as partrons should (after observing the superficial quality of a piece, performance, etc.) search for the truth that lies within it instead of trying to force ourselves to determine whether or not we think it's "good". I'm sure that we all hold different truths in our hearts, but if there are any great resounding TRUTHS in this universe, I promise you that they will never make themselves subjective to our feelings, but will instead flood our senses, mold our minds, and resonate with every vibrating particle within our being. Lets make ourselves open to them.

To anyone who has ever wondered about my religion.

I wrote this poem in a bookstore. Thought I'd share it.

When asked about truth...no "Truth", with a capital "T", which indicates the infallibility of something people refuse to question because they're scared of having their values shaken... When asked about that kind of "Truth" I rarely have anything to say because truth to me has always been the result of a person's individual understanding, everyone has a different truth because everyone has come from very different circumstances. But one day I decided to actually sit and think about that kind of "Truth" and if it really exists. And I think...maybe... that it does. Ghandi once said that "God is not Truth, but Truth is God" and Jesus said that "God is Love". I believe both statements are true and maybe that means that Love is Truth. Maybe the only real thing in the Universe is neither physical or emotional, maybe the only real thing in the universe is a force. That's what love is right? Not a silly emotion that is comprised of selfish feeling or The longing for human contact, but a force. THE force...well no not the force like in starwars, but maybe it's similar. You see from what I've learned Love is a force that is for everything and against nothing. It wants everyone to truly be happy... or present to the point that they don't have to assess they're lives in terms of happy, sad, good, or bad. It wants plants to grow, for children to learn, wolves to howl, babies to be born and for everything to one day die so that they cycle of life can continue. To me, Love isn't only a feeling, but an action, a verb. "I love you" doesn't just mean "I feel good around you", but also "I'm for everything you are" and when you're for someone, that's the end of the story! It may appear sometimes that a person who is for everyone is also against everyone because everyone is always at odds with each other, but thinking about everyone is an art that will always gain it's fair share of criticism. So maybe there are a few Truths out there, and if nothing else I believe that love is definitely one of them. Love is never based on a lie because it requires no fuel so while your hatred or your fear can be based on an illusion, your love will never be. It's unconditional and therefore will shine no matter what because there is nothing that can oppose a force that is for everything. Truth is God, God is Love, Love is Truth and a life devoted to Love is a life devoted to both Truth and God  (in whatever form you percieve it).  So now, what do you think? I am open to all opinions. And I'm also interested to know if anyone believes that there are any other Truths in the universe.

In the deafening quiet, the warrior examines his body in the mirror. The room is lit only by a single candle so that the only defining lines on his chest and arms are the scars from past battles. They do not evoke emotion, he does not think of the stories behind them, he just accepts that they are now a part of him. They are the reason why he does what he does, the reason why he learned to cut the wind with sharpened steel.  He allows these scars to be placed on his body so that no one else will have to do so. Now is not the time for meditation though, the enemy approaches and he must take action. He prepares his armor, strapping on greaves, sabatons, quisses, the breast plate, pauldrons and gauntlets. Whether they are polished iron or painted the pieces all serve the same purpose, to protect and intimidate, this makes him smile, for he himself is nothing more than a piece of armor for he protects, and he can't help but intimidate. The walk to the battle field is steady and he appears calm and collected, but going through his mind are the many brushes he's had with death, the people he could be leaving behind, the thoughts that he could be doing the wrong thing. He puts these thoughts behind him, but the feelings they cause remain.  He stands stone faced on the battlefield looking over the vast amounts of soldiers praparing for battle. His insides are churning with fear and cowardice, and he thinks back to the lessons he has learned from his masters and from himself.  His warriors oath was to no lord or master, but to himself and it was simple "Do what must be done". He believed in love, defending and helping those who couldn't do so for themselves, He believed in fighting the biggest of battles, so if he had the choice of dueling a weakling or a giant, he will always chose the giant. He knows that if he cannot kill the giant, he can at least soften him up for the next warrior to give it a try. He believes that life for a warrior consists of facing obstacles and overcoming them, finding solutions to problems, and fixing what is broken. And now that his stomach is turning and he is afraid he not only has to put all of these beliefs into action, he must also create a new one for himself. "If you cannot do what must be done and be fearless, then you must do it afraid". He nods, his stomach calms down, he draws his katana, his long sword, his kris, his rapier, his claymore, his tulwar, his straight sword, his kaskara, his cutlass,or whatever weapon that has aided him through his many battles, and he marches.

For myself, and anyone else faced with a task that might seem larger than life. Don't forget why you're on your path, and if you want to stop for fear, don't, just take a deep breath and do it afraid.

If you like my blogs, then you should check out some of these!
These are the blogs of some of the people I've friended on zaadz and I find them both enlightening and wonderfully written!

Li's Blog: Extremely intelligent and socially conscious.
Katrina's Blog: Composed mostly of "Questions and reflections", Full of Love, and wonderful perspective.
Earon's Blog: Just plain interesting. He's full of awesome ideas about religion and the nature of man.
Assaji's Blog: A Monk from thailand, who offers a very wise buddhist perspective, and isn't afraid to point out the problems he sees with his own religion.

These are just three to start out with! If I see any other great blogs I'll make sure to post them!

later,
   Ben

The most wonderful thing about the darkness is that it allows you to witness the oneness of all things.  While laying in bed completely still, one could observe the true nature of life itself, which is so much harder to catch during the hours during which your eyes can distinguish the many shapes and colors that create our individual realities. But here in darkness where the moon in all of her infinite wisdom sends only enough light for you to see the outlines of objects swimming within the thick blackness, One cannot observe anything other than the infinite. When sitting in this kind of deafening blackness and seeing only space above and below, one has no choice but to become cold and alone, or dissolve into the infinite allowing themselves to become everything once again. I used to think that losing one's personal identity is the worst fate that one could endure. But now I see that holding on to such a strong personal definition is not nearly as important as remembering that there is no Me in the dark. The two extremes are interesting because they allow you to see the mind set that you must be in to attain true peace. We live as such singular beings, following our own personal dreams, trying to find our definition of happines and success, but only when we allow ourselves to let go of our own personal wants and desires and allow ourselves to dissolve into infinity do we experience the force that nurtures and soothes all things, heals all wounds, and allows for life itself to exist.
Another night of insomnia, but tomorrow is sunday. I think tonight I will enjoy this darkness, and let my body rest while the sun is up.

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This was in '94...
...Guess he changed his mind...
I'm gonna go for a walk.
-Ben

I'm sure a lot of you have seen this already, and plenty of people have gotten a great laugh out of it, but what about the deeper aspects of what's going on here? I've read a lot of youtube comments that have claimed that this is "sick". Not sick because prisoners are putting on a show, but because the ones dancing and having a good time are supposed to be making up for their crimes, not dancing.  If you watch the video again and think to yourself "Wow look at those Killers, Rapists, Thieves, and Sickos doing those killer moves!"...no pun intended...seriously...it might put a different spin on it for you, and really piss you off.  Or. It could change your perspective on what prisoners actually need. Do people who commit crimes need to be locked up? or do they need serious therepy? We all know that dancing feels good, and we all know that thriller sounds great. So dancing to thriller must be fantastic! Could you imagine the way these guys...the dregs of society if you will...feel after doing this? Could you also imagine what that could do for their mental and spiritual well-being? In america some prisons have their inmates put on shakespearean plays as a form of therepy and apparently it has had fantastic results...so should inmates be allowed such a wonderful pastime if it helps them mentally? or should they rot for their crimes? Another question, what should we do with people who commit crimes? what would help them learn not to do it again, and also learn that they can leave prison and become a contributing, loving, and confident member of society? Your thoughts please...